Wednesday, April 18, 2018

Miracles Can't Really Happen Anymore

I've been waiting for a miracle to occur, but they don't seem to happen. Sure, I suppose people with illness can miraculously be cured. As far as the really spectacular miracles are concerned, I'm waiting for one of those. If someone could turn water into wine, that would be nice. It would be a great presentation on Shark Tank. Magicians perform miracles all the time, but we all know they are illusions. Moses actually came across a burning bush. Rather than extinguishing the fire, he talked to it. I guess the desert does weird things to your head. How about seeing an alien from another gallaxy landing in a place other than a trailer park, declaring how stupid we are to destroy our own planet? That would be special. We have lowered the bar for miracles. I would be happy if human beings would be respectful and kind to each other. These days, that would be a miracle.

Saturday, October 21, 2017

Pedestrian Attitudes When Crossing The Street

I never understood the weird attitudes of people when they walk across the street at intersections. It almost appears that they want to be hit by cars. The very thought of that is horrible, and horrific accidents like that happen everyday... but that's not really what I'm talking about. This is more about pedestrian attitudes. For me, the idea of crossing the street when there's the possibility of a large bulk of motorized steel coming at me, commands a certain amount of caution and respect on my part. I don't really trust other people, and most certainly not distracted drivers. If I'm not really careful, my existence could end rather abruptly. I look both ways before crossing. If I could, I would do a background check on every driver within a hundred feet of me. When I cross the street, I move my butt quickly. I sort of jog across the street. So, a pedestrian not being hit by a car is a "two way street". You must always assume that the oncoming car may not stop. Why do kids, teenagers, and vapid adults not get this concept? It's the younger people that cross the street with often a total lack of observance. It's as if they think they are indestructible. The attitude is that they dare you to hit them, cause boy, would you be in trouble if you did. They walk across the street as slowly as possible. Their eyes never observe anything. Some are connected to ear mounted sound systems that block out all surrounding environmental warnings, but most don't care anyway. We're not allowed to teach them any lessons here by nudging them with your bumper. No, we just need to tolerate stupidity. The only lesson to these ignorant pedestrians is an unintentional close call, or worse... and that might be a lesson that is far too expensive. Don't ever trust drivers. They could be texting, eating, talking, drinking, smoking... you name it. They could be just as vapid as you are... only they're sporting a death machine.

Monday, October 16, 2017

A Tale Of Two Ineffective Political Cities

So, there are two viable political parties. Both of which are not impressive these days. There is an Independent party, but there's liitle money or popularity behind it. That's our problem. It takes money to be successful. I don't think that was the idea behind political expression, but it's not surprising that this is where we ended up. The concept was that these two major parties would discuss the viewpoints and take the best aspects from both sides, employing those ideas into a good thing for the people. Well, nothing could be further from the truth now. Political agendas are simply to destroy the other side at the expense of the people. These parties have lost sight that they should endeavor to serve everyone, even those with varied versions of a viewpoint. You see, these is no middle anymore. There is no center. The trick may be to simply find the middle ground. It may be to represent the "center". Maybe that will be the new political success. Will someone step forward? Someond smart? Someone respectable? This just might be the perfect time. Problem is that anybody with those qualities might be too smart to get wrapped up in this world of crap. Better off running a sandwich shop.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Selection From Book


Purchase a huge amount of stress relief medication. Ask your doctor to write a prescription for the highest dosage allowable by law.

Have your attorney prepare a document that prevents your spouse-to-be from saying stupid things that will cause undue violence on your part.

Enroll yourself in anger management courses.

Don’t purchase wedding items from telephone order operators in foreign countries.

Try not to strangle people just because you don’t care to hear their opinions.

Limit yourself to six cocktails per day.

Set a budget for yourself, and try not to exceed it by any more than 3 million dollars.

If you feel overwhelmed, killing yourself will only hurt those who love you.

Wedding cakes are not supposed to lean sideways, no matter what the caterer says.

Pastel colored tuxedoes tend to make the groomsmen look a bit feminine.

Try to book all of your vendors at least one year before the wedding and three years before the divorce.

Ask your married friends which wedding vendors they have recently sued.

Beware of wedding vendors who are only 25 years old, yet claim they have over 25 years of experience.

Ask a friend to accompany you to bridal expos so that you can have them carry all of the fliers, brochures, and printed junk.

Always meet prospective vendors to find out if they have an unpleasant odor.

Always ask if you can get a special discount because you are a bride who has mental issues.

Dress like a bum to indicate that you don’t have a lot of money.

When you interview a wedding vendor, it always helps to mention any mafia connections.